A letter to mom

Dear Mom,
When you read this please be understanding and compassionate. This letter is not meant to provoke anger.
Today on June 24, 2009, your three sons for the first time, cried because of the same reason: you. I came into the study room and saw Justin and Alex crying. I found out that they were crying because you said that you were going to leave. Apparently forever, I assumed that that you said that you were going to leave and not take them with you because they were crying, I don’t know I’m just assuming maybe you didn’t say that. But I was crying myself because I was wondering to myself how could you say that to Justin and Alex? Justin and Alex are only 9 and 7 years old. They are still very young and hearing you say something like that completely shattered their hearts.
I know that we are not the greatest sons ever but we’re your sons. I know you didn’t ask for children that run around the house and make loud noises or a teenager that argues with you but all this is just a part of growing up. As of now I am on my hands and knees begging you to open your ears and hear me out. After WYD, I realized that family was very important and what I wanted were strong bonds between our current family members. I’ve been changing and am willing to change further to make those bonds. Now let me ask you. Are you willing to change for the betterment of the family?
I know the family’s situation right now. We have no money. I know I’m going because I honestly don’t want to bother you at home. You say that I’m on the computer to much but look at these past few days. Have I’ve been home at all? Not really.
Look at your own ways. All you ever do is nag at everyone in the family. I mean of course it’s your job as a mom but you over nag. You nag at everything. Your mind set is so negative. You tell everyone that we’re going to be living on the streets.
I know that you care a lot for this family. Without you we wouldn’t have made it this far.
What I want is to keep our family together but the way I see it, the only way to keep this family together is if you change. I’m not blaming everything on you. Do you not see that what you and dad do ultimately affects us, the children? You didn’t ask for a husband who messes up in his business. But look at how he has sacrificed. I mean sure you were right he shouldn’t have quit Stanford you are correct in many things but not EVERYTHING.
The only way that anything is going to be resolved in this broken family is that if you TALK to him. Do you think saying oh I don’t want to talk to you is going to fix anything? NO IT IS NOT! When you talk to people, lower your voice please. Whenever you’re talking to dad you never let him talk you talk over him and you do the exact same thing to me. Again mom you are human you are not always right. Whenever you talk about touchy subjects calm yourself try not to yell and listen. Listening is a key point in a relationship.
Dad really loves you so much. I love you so much. And Justin and Alex love you so much.
I know that you have lots of stress but please don’t let that stress get to you. I know it’s hard not to the family doesn’t have any money, both parents don’t have a job etc. But we have each other. In times like these aren’t families supposed to try to stick together instead of breaking apart?
You are one of the many reasons that these family is still together without even one of the five people in this family though, this family will surely fall.
That’s all I have to say right now but just know that you are important to everyone is this family we just need to figure things out TOGETHER.